Bin Laden Died Broke??? Damn Jihad Is Expensive!

A recent report revealed that celebrity terrorist Osama Bin Laden was practically broke when the United States sent him to meet Allah. Really? This was a man whose net worth at one time was estimated to be in the ballpark of 300 million dollars. His family was in the billionaires range. So where did all that cash go? 

Though this man was a despicable creature I would have loved to have a sit down with him for a few minutes just to get into the mind of a religious fanatic terrorist. Why would this guy choose this life when a much more enjoyable one was in his grasp? The money that this man once possessed was enough to ensure that he could have whatever he wanted just for the taking. With that kind of wealth there was no limit to the lifestyle Bin Laden could have lived. I am not talking about the flash in the pan money that you see these reality "stars" have, I am talking about Rockefeller money. Mansions, women, cars, jet setting around the world at the most luxurious resorts. You could spend the morning studying art in Italy and the nights learning surfing in California. So with all of that infinite wealth did he do any of these things? You know the answer to that... no.

Instead, this man funds a holy war. Why? What can drive someone to be that extreme about anything? What would compel someone to blow their whole fortune plotting, planning and devising acts of terrorism that would only wreak havoc on the world and put a bulls eye on their own head? And what did all of this money spent buy him? Put it this way, after his biggest terrorist act, 911, the man was forced to spend the next decade in hiding living in caves and filthy compounds!!! Running from hideout to hideout with his kidney dialysis, covered in filth and bugs. I cannot imagine the amount of his own personal money this man spent on arming and training his army. Then you must ask, did he ever really think, at any point, that he was going to win? Can you picture him sitting in that decrepit broken down complex, looking at his assets and thinking, "What they hell did I do here?"

He was not the first and he will not be the last. There have been men throughout history who've lost their empires in pursuit of their extreme hatred. All I know is that if I ever had that kind of money, I would be living it up as if I was a member of the Rolling Stones or shortstop for the New York Yankees. I am talking about weekend trips to Versailles and Prague, strip clubs, motorcycles, prostitutes in Amsterdam, double fisting Dom Perignon at the super bowl, yachts with Victoria Secret Models making me pigs in the blanket, tattoos, comic books, guitar lessons from Eric Clapton, a lap dance from... you get the point. I know what I would not be doing... blowing my cash on teaching a bunch of crackpots how to hijack a plane and blow up buildings half a globe away. But that is just me...

Is it hot in here or am I Crazy?